This dusty place

"Remember, dust you are and to dust you shall return."

These were the words spoken as the ashes of last year's palm branches were formed in the shape of a cross on many foreheads this evening. Recently I was thinking about how our bodies, if abandoned to the elements, do turn into dust after our death and in that way we return to the world. We transition from being in the world to being part of that which has surrounded us since we began to exist. I always feel a sense of separation as if I've only just been placed in this place and soon I can get to where I actually belong. Last week I read in Dave Roche's hilarious mini tome, On Subbing, how when he was working at a thrift store and grossed out by the amount of dust he had to endure, he realized he was actually breathing in dead people and was desperate to escape. I too am desperate to escape the dust of my old life and the oppression of wanting what is impossible to have: a story-book life. I hope to leave some dust --behind-- as I run forward to a much more fulfilling life.

With hope,
Paola

A poem born of heartbreak.... :)

Why Not Wait?

I wish you would have waited for me

What a life filled with lovely

would be there for we

Instead of the lonely

that's here just for me

I'm trapped in a gown made of something like white

and a veil that wraps tight my heart and my eyes

It's stained from the flow that pours and pours

Soon only maroon will show

Our close ripped not only just clothes

Can you wait, can you wait

It's late, I know it's late          (too late)

I need you to wait

'Cause my eyes keep improving 'til they make a blank slate        (if you wait)

I can see it, I can finally see it

How I could be, should be and we could be

The weave of our fingers, our hearts and all these lives

Everything peaceful, in right

Wait at the crossroad and we'll take the path

The one that erases all of our wrath

Gently it leads to unity, honesty, our true match

On it grow the flowers of forgiveness, forbearance and perserverance

It waits there forever, for us

Do you see it?

Wait at the cliff without going over

So four hearts don't break over and over

'Cause even if night falls you don't need to be frightened

Follow the halls hallowed by others like us

You'll see their lights and we'll be enlightened

Wait at the start, wait at the end, wait at the middle and let's both bend

Both of us need the one to whom we were sent

A little wait so there's no one to hate

A little wait for a different fate

Why couldn't we wait?

Oh... Why...not...wait?

by Paola 2/7/2013

Welcome and Thanks

For so long I have been terrified of many things, but mainly, of sharing myself. Writing a blog was an exciting idea that I often squelched with mindtalk that reminded me: everyone might see, everyone can judge, everyone can criticize, everyone can hurt me... while not false, these ideas have suffocated me and I'm ready to share and let it be. I hope I do something that's worthwhile for you to see, judge, et cetera. Welcome to me. Thanks for coming.